As you may know, if you read my last blog post, I am now the proud owner/founder/runner of this business I call Lady Ebdon Prints. This has proved tricky for me to get across to people, given it's such a new thing. I can only liken it to when I got engaged and had to change from saying "my boyfriend" to "my fiance". Something that I found just mega awkward and made me feel so eggy. The problem wasn't the engagement situation, that was awesome, obviously, it was that I had to describe our relationship differently. I basically felt such a massive knob saying "my fiance". And that's how I feel about saying "I own/run/have started/founded my business". I just feel like I'm making it up, like it's not real, like I'm in some way being a fraud.. Why? I wouldn't feel that way if I was telling people that I had a new exciting job. Especially if it was a job that enabled me to see more of my family, for me to make the most of my creativity, yet still utilising the skills I have learnt in business over the span of my working career. One that had the potential to do really well. Yet I still feel awkward in some way when I say it. I guess I'm still trying to come to terms with it myself.
I think it may be partly to do with what my idea of a "business" is. And also my preconceptions of what a "business woman" should be like and should behave. And even though I loved watching Dynasty and Dallas in the 80's, Alexis Colby Carrington Dexter (aka Joan Collins legend) wasn't really the most influential business role model for a young girl growing up in rural Norfolk. In fact it was about as far removed from my upbringing as you can get.
So what is a modern day business women? I know lots of inspiring, creative, strong influential women who own or run their own business. Some of them are mums, some aren't. Some are young, some are older. Some of them dress in suits, some of them don't. Some of their businesses succeed, some of them fail.
Now, apart from them all being female, what else do all these ladies (and I'm going to wrap myself up in this bracket too) have in common?
I believe that they all want to do something they love and believe in, and that they all wanted to give it a go, and try to make it succeed. And without trying to make a go of something that you both love to do, and greatly believe in, you will never know if it's going to work. So, I don't know if this business will be able to help support my family, pay for my mortgage, or even keep me stocked up on Prosecco. But like many other women before me, at least I know that I have tried (but if it does all go tits up, maybe be kind and don't mention it, yeah?).
Hopefully in the not too distant future I will be able to say with confidence that I run my own business, and not feel like an utter wally. Big up to all you other women in business today too, especially the ones who feel a bit weird about it all still.